How to Be a Good Listener?

How to Be a Good Listener

 To be a good listener, you have to pay attention to the following things:
 Listen carefully to what the speaker is saying.
 Show your attention to the speaker.
 Give the appropriate response to what the speaker said.
To start conversation, you can greet the person by saying
 Hi, how are you doing?
 Hallo, how are you?
In the conversation, the person might tell you some information or his/her problem. Here are some expressions you can use to show your attention:
1. Positive responses
 I see.
 Well, it’s nice.
 That’s interesting.
 I’m glad to hear that.

2. Negative responses
 Oh, what a pity.
 How terrible.
 I’m sorry to hear that.
 That’s too bad.

In the end of the conversation, close it by saying:
 Thank you for listening.
 Thanks for your suggestion.
 Good luck.
 See you.
 We’ll talk again later.

Example dialog:
Indra : Excuse me, Mr. Budi. I’d like to take a few days off.
Mr. Budi : Why? What’s the matter, Indra?
Indra : Well, my father is ill. He is going to have an operation.
Mr. Budi : Oh, dear. I’m sorry to hear that. How long will you be away?
Indra : I hope to be back next Monday.
Mr. Budi : That’s alright, Indra. And I hope your father gets better soon.
Indra : Thank you, Mr. Budi.
Mr. Budi : Never mind.

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Asking for Help

Asking for Help

We know that people in the world cannot life without the others. People will share any things with others, such as information, education and many things. In doing something, people are not always doing it alone, they sometimes need a help from another one.
Here are some expressions you can use to ask for help:
 Could you do me a favor?
 Would you be able to…?
 Can I ask for your help?
 Could you please…?
 Would you please?

Response (+)
It means that the people who you ask to help you are going to help you in doing something. They usually say:
 Certainly.
 Sure, what is it?
 Of course.
 OK. What can I do for you?
Response (-)
Sometimes people have another business and they cannot help you to do something, they usually say:
 I’m sorry I’m busy.
 Sorry, but I have to do something else.
 I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t.

Example
Dialog 1
Brian : Can I ask you a favor?
Simon : of course.
Brian : would you be able to return this book to the library for me, please? It’s overdue.
Brian : I’m going there this afternoon.
Simon : thanks a lot.
Brian : you’re welcome. It’s no problem.

Dialog 2
Vani : Can I ask for your help?
Dhea : sure. What is it?
Vani : Could you post these letters for me? I won’t be able to go to the post office this morning.
Dhea : Certainly.
Vani : Thank you very much.
Dhea : no problem.

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Offering and Refusing Invitation

Offering and Refusing Invitation

Inviting People
 Do you feel like going to a concert?
 What about going to a party?
 How about having dinner together?
 Would you like to come to my birthday party?
 I was wondering if you’d like to go to shopping together.
 Do you want to have lunch together?
 Would you like to have a drink after school?
 Aren’t you interested?

Accepting an invitation
 Oh, that is a brilliant idea.
 Sure, why not?
 That’s a good/ great idea.
 OK
 Fine
 I’d love to.
 Great.
 That sounds good.
 That would be fine.
 Yes, I’d really like to.

Declining Invitation
 I’m really sorry. I have to help my mother.
 I’m afraid I can’t.
 Oh, I’d love to, but I don’t think I can.
 I’m terribly sorry I can’t. Perhaps next time.


Example Dialog:
Susan : Hallo
Michael : Hi, Susan, It’s me, Michael.
Susan : Oh, hi Michael. How are you going?
Michael : Well, not bad. Are doing anything Sunday morning?
Susan : No, nothing special. Why?
Michael :  Umm… do you feel like going to a concert?
Susan : Oh, that’s sounds like good.
Michael : Great. What about having a pizza first?
Susan : Sure, why not? Where do you want to meet?
Michael : Why don’t I pick you up at your house?
Susan : OK, what time?
Michael : is eight o’clock OK?
Susan : Fine. Well, see you then.
Michael : Alright. See you.

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Agreeing and Disagreeing

Expression for Agreeing and Disagreeing

The way people agree or disagree in an argument or discussion varies in different languages.

Expressing Agreement/ Agreeing
It is worthwhile saying that silence is not understood as agreement. If you agree with an opinion or an idea, you are expected to say so.
• I agree with you 100 percent.
• I couldn't agree with you more.
• That's so true.
• That's for sure.
• (slang) Tell me about it!
• You're absolutely right.
• Absolutely.
• That's exactly how I feel.
• Exactly.
• I'm afraid I agree with James.
• I have to side with Dad on this one.
• No doubt about it.
• (agree with negative statement) Me neither.
• (weak) I suppose so./I guess so.
• You have a point there.
• I was just going to say that.

Expressing Disagreement/ Disagreeing:
Expressing disagreement is always respected as honest, and sometimes as courageous.
• I don't think so.
• (strong) No way.
• I'm afraid I disagree.
• (strong) I totally disagree.
• I beg to differ.
• (strong) I'd say the exact opposite.
• Not necessarily.
• That's not always true.
• That's not always the case.
• No, I'm not so sure about that.

Example Dialog
Ame l: I think that the company retreat should be in the mountains this year.
Bud i: What a great idea!
Amel: January would be a good month for a mountain retreat.
Budi : I like the mountain idea, but I am not so sure about the month of January.
Amel: You know, now that I think about it, you might be right.
Budi : April might be nice. It is far enough away to make the necessary arrangements.
Amel: That is a good suggestion.
Budi : We could ask everyone what would be the best time for them.
Amel: Yes, that would let us know what would work best.
Budi : I'll put the survey online this afternoon.

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CERTAINTY AND UNCERTAINTY EXPRESSION

CERTAINTY AND UNCERTAINITY EXPRESSION

Certainty is the state of being completely confident or having no doubt about something. Certainty is stated when you are sure that something will or will not happen in the future. However, uncertainty is when nothing is ever decided or sure, when you are not sure whether something or someone will or will not happen.
Here are the examples of Certainty and Uncertainty Expression:

Asking about certainty and uncertainty/ doubt
 Are you sure that she lost the cell phone?
 Are sure about that news?
 Do you think that he will broke your glasses?
 How do you so sure?
 Are positively sure…?

Expressing certainty.
 I’m sure she’s right.
 I’m sure of it.
 I’m sure.
 There’s no doubt about…
 There’s no doubt about it in my mind.
 There’s no doubt that she comes from a royal family
 I’m certain about that.
 I’m convinced of it.
 I know what she’s going to do.
 I’m certain that she’s the one who did it.
 I’m quite sure that they had met earlier.
 She will only start tomorrow, I’m certain about that.
 Without doubt, he’s one of the best singers we have.
 It’s quite certain she was trying to fool you.
 They must have left by now.
 It’s clear that she knows him.
 I don’t doubt that he wanted to help her.
 I feel quite sure that it was
 I certainly believe that he was in the wrong way.
 I have no doubt about it.
 I’m convinced we are not to trust him.
 I’m sure she’s done the right thing.
 I’m absolutely sure that he is from the United States.
 He’ll come, I’m sure of it.
 Obviously, she is against this proposal.

Expressing uncertainty/ doubt
 I’m not sure about it.
 I don’t think so.
 I’m not sure.
 Well, may be.
 I can’t decide if I should invite them.
 I don’t believe this is true.
 I don’t think you’re right.
 I haven’t a clue.
 I’m in two minds whether or not to do it.
 I’m not sure what to do next.
 I’m just not sure.
 I’m in two minds about doing it.
 I’m not sure whether he knows it.
 I’m a bit uncertain about this.
 I don’t know what to tell them
 I can’t believe it, I really can’t.
 I can’t decide whether to take it back or not.
 I’ll possibly be able to do it.
 I must say I find that very odd.
 Yes, I suppose so.
 May be I’ll buy it, may be I won’t.
 He’s possibly one of our best workers.
 He can’t do it, I think.
 May be I shouldn’t do it.

Responding to Expressions of Uncertainty/Doubt

When your friend tells you his/her doubt, you can use the following expressions for the responses. Repeat after your teacher!
 You don’t need to be doubtful.
 Don’t worry.
 Don’t take things so seriously.
 Doubt isn’t going to do anything.
 Take it easy.
 Just feel sure of yourself.
 There’s no need to be doubted.

Example Dialog:

Jalal     :  What do you think we should give Arni as her birthday present?
Rusli    : A doll, I think
Jalal     : Are you sure?
Rusli    : Yes, certainly. As far as I know, she likes doll.
Jalal     : Well, it is possible I suppose, but I doubt it.
Rusli    : So, what do you think?
Jalal     : Why don’t we buy her a wristwatch?
Rusli    : I don’t think so. It’s too expensive.
Jalal     : You are right, but we can collect the money.
Rusli    : Still, I doubt it. I’m broke now. I don’t think I can get enough money within this week.
Jalal     : Well, doubt isn’t going to do anything. I can lend you the money if you want.
Rusli    : Really?
Jalal     : Certainly.
Rusli    : Thank you very much.
Jalal     : Don’t mention it.

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Expressing Regret and Apologies

Expressing Regret and Apologies

• Words and expressions used to show regrets and apologies:

 I’m sorry that ...
 Please accept my apology for….
 I apologize for…
 Forgive me. I’m terribly sorry about…
 Please accept my apology for..
 Please excuse…
 I would like to apologize for…
 I apologize for..
 I’m sorry. I did not mean to..
 I’m sorry that…
 Sorry…

• Words and expression used to respond regrets and apologies:

 Never mind.
 That’s quite all right
 I completely understand
 You don’t need to apologize.
 It’s not your fault.
 Don’t worry about it.
 It’s OK,
 No Problem
 Forget it.

Example:
Randy : Hello, Randy’s speaking. Can I speak to Cindy?
Cindy : Yes, it’s me, Randy. Did you get home all right last night?
Randy : Yes, thank you. I just want to apologize for the incident last night.
Cindy : Please don’t mention it. It doesn’t matter.
Randy : But I broke a decorating pitcher in your house. It must be expensive. Wasn’t your mother angry?
Cindy : Forget it. You did it accidentally.
Randy : Yes, but…
Cindy : Look. It’s nothing. I was a bit annoyed last night, but I’m all right now. So, forget it.
Randy : Cindy, let me buy another pitche.
Cindy : No, Randy. Listen to me, you did it accidentally. I don’t want to  hear about it anymore.
Randy : All right. I’m terribly sorry about that.
Cindy : It’s all right.

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Asking for and giving permission expression

ASKING FOR AND GIVING PERMISSION EXPRESSION

A.    Asking For Permission

For example:

-        Can I use your phone?

-        May I use your phone?

-        Do you mind if I sit here?

-        Is it okay if I use this?

-        Is it all right if I leave early?

-        Is it okay if Bill comes along?

-        Is it okay if I drink my tea here?

-        Can I borrow your pen a minute?

more polite:
- Could I use your phone?

more colloquial:
- is it ok if I use your phone?
- is it alright if I use your phone?

B.     Giving Permission

For example:

-        Yes, of course

-        Of course you can

-        Of course you may

-        No, go ahead.

-        Yes, no problem

more polite:
- Of course, please do.

more colloquial:
- Yes, sure  
- Sure!

C.     Refusing Permission

For example:

-        Sorry, you can't

-        No, I'm afraid it's not allowed.

-        Yes, I do mind, actually.

more polite:
- I'm very sorry but...

more colloquial:
- No, sorry
- Nope!

rude:
- No way!

Dialog

At the Library
Dona             : Good afternoon, Madam?
Librarian        : Good afternoon, Dona. What can I do for you?
Dona             : I need to get some information on animal cells.
Librarian        : What is it for, Dona?
Dona             : I have to make a presentation of animal cells in the seminar next week.
Librarian        : That’s fine
Dona             : Could you tell me where I can get it, Madam?
Librarian        : Look at that last cupboard. It’s marked
Dona             : Oh, I see. May I borrow it for a day or two?
Librarian        : Sorry, the reference books are not for lending.
Dona             : There is no place around. May I sit here and take notes?
Librarian        : Yes, you may.
Dona             : Thank you, Madam.
Librarian        : You’re welcome.

At the Classroom

Hery              : Hi Dhea, what are doing now?

Dhea              : Hi, Hery. I’m reading a novel.

Hery              : What novel?

Dhea              : It’s Harry Potter.

Hery              : Wow, It’s awesome. May I borrow your novel after you finish reading?

Dhea              : Sorry, I have to take back this novel to the library this afternoon.

Hery              : Oh, never mind. Do you have another novel?

Dhea              : No, I don’t have. But I have some comics.

Hery              : Can I borrow your comic?

Dhea              : Yes, of course.

Hery              : Thank you

Dhea              : you’re welcome.

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